Christmas Shopping and Other Sins

I find myself conflicted as this Christmas season comes around. I just got back from Christmas shopping and I feel frustrated. First of all, Christmas shopping is a sin. It hurts (my feet and back are killing me, let alone my wallet!). People are rude and annoying (man have I got stories to tell). And all it creates is more work and less fun than just about anything this side of plucking out nose hairs. On top of all of this, I am conflicted this year about the whole idea of Christmas and the rampant materialism that has consumed the holiday.
About a month or so ago I went to a Chapel Service at Fuller and one of my professors gave the sermon (it was excellent!). He gave a concluding illustration about the materialism of Christmas. To try and fight against this and to be a responsible parent, he has created a Christmas tradition of his own within their family. He has given his kids money for Christmas (though now they earn their own) to use for Christmas gifts. However, the gifts cannot be given to anyone they know. The money is not to be used to buy presents for their parents or teachers or classmates. The money is to be given away to help someone or some group that is in need.
You might think that this has created friction with his kids - but just the opposite is true. They now spend the entire year listening to those who talk about the needy; they research different charities and non-profit groups that help others; they spend time figuring out just how much they can give and to whom to accomplish what kind of specific good. As he finished telling his illustration, there was not a dry eye in the house. He had struck a real nerve.
So, you can guess why I am conflicted. I have spent so much money on those I love and so little money on those in need that I have become the poster boy for the materialism that has overtaken Christmas. I will spend the next couple of days wrapping presents and we will take Monday to open the gifts and enjoy the bounty that will be under the tree. However, this year I will be thinking more about others and what their needs are then I am about me and mine. I wonder if Christmas will ever be the same. I hope not. Maybe I am remembering the story of the Wise Men who came to a needy family, spent their own money to help give them what they needed, and went home without gifts of their own and were glad for it. May we all take the journey back to Bethlehem this season and try and rediscover what giving is all about.

I Think They Call it Hobnobbing

Websters defines "hobnob" as follows:
Hobnobbing with our social betters can be a hit-or-miss proposition, a fact that has an etymological justification. The verb hobnob originally meant “to drink together” and occurred as a varying phrase, hob or nob, hob-a-nob, or hob and nob, the first of which is recorded in 1763. This phrasal form reflects the origins of the verb in similar phrases that were used when two people toasted each other. The phrases were probably so used because hob is a variant of hab and nob of nab, which are probably forms of have and its negative. In Middle English, for example, one finds the forms habbe, “to have,” and nabbe, “not to have.” Hab or nab, or simply hab nab, thus meant “get or lose, hit or miss,” and the variant hob-nob also meant “hit or miss.” Used in the drinking phrase, hob or nob probably meant “give or take” from a drinking situation hob nob spread to other forms of chumminess.
Well, that's what I did last week. I spent the week with professors of homiletics (that's the science of preaching). I went with my mentor to the Academy of Homiletics Annual Meeting held this year in West Palm Beach, Fl. I went for two basic reasons. First, these are the men and women that I am reading. I met authors such as Richard Lischer, Eugene Lowry, Dick Eslinger, and others. OK, these names mean nothing to most everyone else but in my world it's like meeting rock stars or other famous people that you look up to. It was amazing to be able to put faces and voices to names and book titles. From this point on, these are the folks I will be reading (I actually spent about $200 on books by these and other authors - the book table was 50% off!). The second reason was to make contacts that might serve me well in the future. If I want to teach preaching somewhere, these are the men and women that help make those decisions and pave the way for folks like me to find a position. Though I doubt the Yale Divinity School will come calling (though I did meet there Homiletics faculty), others may be more conducive. It's never too early to be making contacts. After all, someone has to be willing to take a shot at a 57 year old (by the time I'm finished with the PhD) first time professor. I hope the 30+ years of experience will be a factor in my favor, but I want to make sure I have done my work properly.
One of the things Fuller promotes is the chance in the last section of your PhD to study with others. They work hard to make that work. Who knows, maybe one of the heavyweights will give me a chance to study with them for a quarter. Looks nice on the resume. I hope that might come about. Anyway, with my first quarter now history (my last class was last night - four quizzes in Hebrew and a recitation in front of the whole class!). So, I am officially done with classes. Now the real work begins. You should see the apartment! Cleaning, washing and dusting here I come!

Mirrors and Windows

I sat next to a man on the airplane yesterday who had suffered a severe spinal chord injury. Unable to walk but a few feet, he had to use his scooter to go down the ramp to the door of the plane and then, painstakingly, walk the few steps to his seat. As everyone else got seated, he asked the flight attendant for an extension to his seatbelt (he was a pretty good sized guy). The attendant had to put the seatbelt on him because his arms don't function very well. During the flight I noticed that he had to swing his arms with his body in order to bring them up to his chest. He was sitting directly across the aisle from me and so we chatted briefly during the short flight from Atlanta to West Palm Beach.
Challenges. We think we have them - and we do. But everything in our lives ought to be considered alongside the reality of what it could be rather than the myopic view of what it is only. Traveling in a plane is uncomfortable for me (I am a big guy, too) but I found little room to complain yesterday. My arms worked. My legs got me going. I didn't have to have a scooter or a wheelchair to get me around. All in all, a pretty good flight and a fortunate life. Do I have physical problems? Sure. Do they pall in comparison to others? You bet. Do I hurt when they flare up? Absolutely. Should they get the best of me when they hit? Not on your life. Muddle on through. It could be worse.
There is an old story about a King who had the carpenters in his palace remove the mirror in his bedroom and replace it with a window. When they did, the King saw the plight of his subjects first hand and it changed the way he lived and ruled the rest of his life. The moral of the story? Stop looking so much in the mirror and get a window on the world. It may change how you live as much as it did the King.

Fulfillment

Well, after wating all Thanksgiving weekend for my professor to send me back my book analysis (which he did but it didn't go through) I got it back today. I received a B+ and a great critique of my syntax and sentance structure (he thinks I might be too wordy and put together to many complex sentences - go figure!). I also did a presentation in class and got an A. I felt very relaxed and in my element as I got an opportuntiy to teach a class (albeit for only 15 minutes - timed). After class we all went to a nearby restaurant and our professor treated us to a burger and a drink. I have now finished with my first PhD seminar (except for the 40 page paper) and I have a few thoughts. Here goes:
1. I'm not the smartest guy in the class but I do belong. I can think, evaluate, integrate complex concepts, and apply what I learn to concepts that can be taught or can be enacted.
2. My age has little to do with how I am viewed or responded to in the class. I am accepted on the merits of my own being and my own thoughts.
3. I relate well to others in a diverse and integrated group. My closest friend is a 30 something African-American father of two who is majoring in ethics. The other person I relate to is another 30 something African-American woman pastor who already has a PhD in another discipline (Public Policy). It's nice to know that your age, gender, and skin color do not limit you to one homogeneous group.
4. This is fun. I love to learn and grow and change.

Now, here are some things for you.
1. You belong. You may not be the smartest, richest, prettiest, most talented, articulate person in your circle of influence, but you can think, evaluate, and integrate things from your area of interest.
2. Accept others on the merits of who they are. Don't pigeonhole others into some calss or group.
3. Be intentional about diversity. If you don't know anyone else who is ethnically, racially different than you, you have the responsibility to make it diverse. Diversity is a good thing but it must be intentional to be real.
4. Changing and growing, becoming and learning can be fun. How have you grown recently? Try it. You might like it.

Anticipation

I turned in my first paper for my Ph.D seminar this week. It was only a six page analysis of a book that I had read (a really interesting book on the preaching of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. entitled, "The Preacher King" - I wrote a blog entry about a while back). It was not a true research paper but a paper designed to interact the themes of the book with one of the major theorists that we have read in class in Practical Theology. If all that sounds too detailed, know this. It was the very first paper I have written academically in around 18 years. Am I nervous? You bet. I turned it in on Monday and got a call from one of the other guys in class that his (and everyone else in the class) had already been graded. So, I went by my profs office to retrieve mine only to find out that he had not graded mine yet. He let me know that, with one exception, everyone else was grading out to be a B. Now, that sounds great except in Ph.D work if you get more than 2 B's as final grades in your seminars, they call you in for an appointment to evaluate whether or not you should continue in the program. So, there is some pressure to excel academically. So, now I get to play the waiting game. For those who know me, it should come as no surprise that I hate the waiting game. If patience is a virtue, I got in the back of the line when they were handing it out. So, I get to anticipate what I got for a grade for the rest of the day.
What are you supposed to do when all you have is anticipation? How do you wait constructively? A few suggestions:

1. Wait don't fixate - the old adage, "a watched pot never boils" is an example of fixating on a problem. It lengthens the problem rather than compressing it. Go on a live life, do your work, go to the movies, do whatever you would normally do. Remember, anticipation does not have to rob you of the lived moment.

2. If you anticipate, imagine all the possibilities not just the negative ones - the real problem with anticipation is that we worry about WCS (worst case scenarios) rather than anticipating good things. For instance, in our home as the boys were growing up anticipation would rise as we got closer to Christmas Day. That kind of anticipation was so positively powerful that the boys did not want to know what presents had been purchased. They would not go into closets or pry into conversations to find out because they knew that reality would be even better than knowing because the anticipation made things more exciting. Now, I realize that anticipating bad news from the doctor or the teacher or the lawyer or the boss has little redeeming value and does not relate to Christmas excitement, except in this way. If you are going to anticipate what news is coming, at least anticipate all the possibilities and all the possible responses. If you think it is going to be bad news, consider the possible positive responses. For instance, the doctor is running tests to see if you need an operation. Consider how this could be a great weight loss program. The teacher is grading your paper - consider how much better you will be next time you have to write one because you will learn so much from the teachers notes about how you wrote this one. You get the point. Everything has a silver lining.
Just remember, anticipation does not have to be a bad thing unless you make it so. I hope I can remember that over the next few hours as I anticipate my paper and I pray you can remember this when you anticipate the news that has you anxious about your life.

Two Ears and One Mouth

I've been thinking about my friend, Patty, today. I talked with her this afternoon and she shared with me her concerns and issues. They are serious and challenging - nothing made up or fluff, just real issues about body, soul, and mind. I wish there was something that I could do to change the circumstances (typical male thinking, I grant you). I want to help or heal or create a significant change in the circumstances that surround her. But, I am hours away and, even if I were minutes away, there is nothing in my own power that I can do to change her situation. Sound familiar? Anyone who cares about another person who is going through a difficult time knows what I mean (and that's most if not all of us). Amazingly, Patty said something that reminded me that there is something that I can do. Toward the end of the conversation as I was lamenting my lack of power over her situation, Patty said, "That's all right. Just talking with you has made a difference."
I continually forget that compassion comes not just in giving a prescription for healing but in the idea of being sympathetic or empathetic. Not all healing comes from pills or surgeries or psychiatric insights or money. Some healing comes just from listening. Compassion is listening with your ears, mind, and heart. Sympathy is more than feeling sorry for another. It is putting yourself in that persons shoes and feeling their pain and dilemma (actually, that's probably more like empathy - though that usually means you have experienced the same thing and know if from the inside out rather than the outside in). Compassion is an ear more than a mouth. Compassion is not telling someone how you feel but is listening and coming to realize what the other person really feels.
The old adage is still true. God gave us two ears and one mouth. Maybe we should get the hint! Well, you have ears to hear. You will be amazed at how many hurting people are looking for someone who will listen (really listen) to them and you will be further amazed at how much healing come come through your ears and not your mouth.

Have Some Chocolate!

We went out last night to a friend's church to support him in a project he has for school. James is taking a course in "Theology of Film" and was required to have a public showing of a film of his choosing and then lead a discussion of the film. For nearly 3 years Joanie and I hosted a group in our home that met once a month to do this very thing, so we were excited to join in the process. The movie James chose was "Chocolate" and it is a very interesting film. Let me tell you a few things about it:

• It takes place in a small French town that is highly repressed due to its' overbearing mayor. He is the enforcer of the rules of the town and the church. He intimidates everyone.
• Moving into the town is a woman with her young child who opens (in the middle of Lent, mind you) a Chocolate Shop. It is scandalous!
• The rest of the picture is the battle between the Mayor (controlling the church, the town, and all morality) vs. the woman who owns the decadent confectionery store and who does not go to church and seems to defy all staid, ultra-conservative ideas.
• Caught in the middle is the town priest who must please the mayor (the head of the deacon board) and still find his way in ministry (he is young and inexperienced in the pastoral ministry)

By the end of the movie people's sins have been exposed and forgiven. Redemption has found its way into the church. The divided loyalties of church members have come together in a wonderful sense of community. And by saying all this I have told you little that will spoil the movie. The question we wrestled with afterwards was if the movie was too harsh on the church. And my answer is: I don't think so. The church in the movie is judgemental, overbearing, hiding all its own dirty laundry and putting up a good front, unloving, unhealthy, and not very fun. While that may or may not be your experience in the church I can guarantee you one thing - it is how those who don't go to church view those of us who do. Unfortunately, we've earned the rep by being isolationist, harsh on those we seek to have come to faith in Christ, and creating an atmosphere of judgement. So, my answer was, "No, its not too hard on the church."
However, I thought the theology of the movie was terrible. It gave the view that hedonism was positive, that the goal of life is to be happy, and that the gospel has no healing or regenerative power whatsoever. That's bad theology. So, how do we bridge the gap between the perception of the church's practice and the reality of God's Word in our midst? Well, it may not be profound, but here are some things I've come to learn:

• You can't separate the practice of the church from the teaching of our theology. If we teach one way and act another, we deny what we teach. If we teach it but don't live it we are hollow voices, noisy gongs, and extremely ineffective.
• Changing the perception of the church begins not by looking at our theology but looking at our practice. If you want things to change, begin a dialogue about the practice of the church first. What are the practices that we are doing? How effective are they? Why are we doing what we are doing? After you ask those questions and gain some footing, then move to theology to see what it says (look at church history, biblical theology, practical theological understandings, systematic theological insights, etc.).
  
• After you learn about all that, then apply what you have learned to the practices you are doing. This is the praxis-theory-praxis model (praxis is a term from ancient Greek philosophy and means, basically, practice) that I have been learning about over the last several months. Maybe applying it can help wherever you are and in whatever state the church may be in.
  

A Celebration

I love celebrations. It's one of the reasons I really love Christmas, Thanksgiving, and holidays in general. It's also why I love worship. I love to party, celebrate, and enjoy being with others. I have the feeling that one of the great parts about being in heaven is that the celebration never ends. I find that appealing.
However, today I am not able to be with someone as they celebrate a milestone in their lives. My father-in-law is a wonderful man that I love dearly and one who has supported me in innumerable ways. Today is his 83rd birthday. He is in good health (some aches and pains, but he manages), in a loving relationship with his second wife (bless you, Tina), and living life to the fullest. I am so proud of him and proud to be a part of his family. He regularly reads this blog and I just wanted to say, "Happy Birthday" to someone whom I love and respect. I only wish that I could be with him on this special day and celebrate it with him (you know, anything for a party!). But I wanted him to know that I was thinking of him today, praying for him always, and, on Sunday while I am celebrating in worship, I will thank God for him. Happy Birthday, Dad. You are loved.

Your Son,

Jeff

God Has Eyes, Even When We Are Blind

The title of this post has an interesting description in it. It's called anthropomorphism. It means assigning to God human qualities and physical traits that give us a frame of reference but really don't describe God literally. For instance, "God has eyes" is an anthropomorphism. God sees us but he does not have a physical appearance as we are so it is not likely that God has eyes. However, it is a way of expressing something about the nature of God (God watches over us; God sees us and knows us; God is looking down upon us; etc.). For instance, I realized to day how much God has been watching over me even when I was walking along in the dark about what to do. Here is how I came to realize this.
Today, I spent the afternoon watching several professors of preaching gather from around the nation to put on DVD their ideas and thoughts about what is called, "Performance Preaching". Before I tell you what that is, let me tell you a little bit of how I got to Fuller in the first place. I applied for a Ph.D program at several seminaries. I wanted to study preaching and had a real interest in narrative based preaching (narrative based preaching is centered in a story telling approach to scripture). As I looked at seminaries, I looked at location, reputation, and application. My goals were simple - get in! Along the way I came to realize that the philosophy of those who teach homiletics (the science of preaching) vary greatly. I interviewed in one place where the ideas I proposed were so offensive to them that I got turned down not on the basis of skill or competency or GPA but on the style of my preaching.
I had applied to Fuller based solely on its reputation. It was considered to be a top notch seminary and getting a degree from here would be prestigious. I had never met the head of the Homiletics Department, Dr. Clay Schmit. We talked briefly on the phone one day and that was it. So, when I got my acceptance, I was elated but also wondering what now? I met Clay and instantly liked him and we both felt this was a relationship that would go well. I have become his R.A. (research assistant) and get paid to help him with projects. One of those is to read and help edit a book that he is helping to put together from a variety of sources on the subject of "Performance Preaching". Today, I got my first exposure to what that means. And it was amazing. Here were all these professors of preaching from around the country talking about the very things that I am most interested in exploring. One was a mime artist and gave an amazing lecture on gestures and how important they can be. Another has an acting background and did some fascinating dramatic scripture readings. The "guru" of this movement was there and he was a wonderful and powerful man who had launched this movement and exemplified it tremendously. Another professor did a lecture (10 minutes) on the power of and the right way to emphasize words in a reading. It was revolutionary. And there was my mentor, Clay Schmit, orchestrating it all and bringing this whole thing to pass.
Here's my point. I had no idea why I should come to Fuller. I came because they accepted me and had a good reputation. I was blind to the importance of the philosophy of the institution and to the ones that would be teaching me. But God has eyes, even when we are blind. And I realized once more, I am where He wants me to be with the people He wanted me to be under doing what He has put in my heart to do. Amazing!

The Dangers of Change

I'm about to give you one of the greatest quotes on leading change that has ever been written. I thought of it tonight as I was reading one of my textbooks for my seminar tomorrow. The book, called, "Leadership on the Line", talks about the problems of leading an organization through change. One of the key issues is that organizations and leaders don't typically understand the difference between technical changes and adaptive challenges. Technical changes, to put it simply, are changes that need to be made for which we already have the expertise or understanding. For instance, if the change you want to make in a church is revamp the C.E./S.S. offerings, you gather together a group of people that have the technical know-how to find out what needs to be offered, what materials are available, and what training needs to be done. The group knows (or can find out) the expertise and procedures that need to be followed to create the change. The other issue is called Adaptive Challenges. For Adaptive Challenges, no one knows or has the expertise to create the change. For instance when paradigm shifts occur, people tend not to be ready to understand how to do what needs to be done in a different or changing atmosphere. Like the Swiss watchmakers who could not adapt to the fact that the latest technology was electronic in nature and didn't have gears and sprockets. They couldn't adapt and lost nearly all of the world's watchmaking business (they went from 90% of market share to barely 10% of the market by failing to adapt). Interesting, huh? The authors of the book I am reading say that the greatest failure of leadership is that leaders typically treat adaptive challenges by assuming they are technical problems. And to that insight I say, Amen! Some of the greatest failures that I have seen the church make and the biggest failures I have done as a pastor have been in the realm of trying to apply technical answers to adaptive changes. I think of my last pastoral charge and can think of numerous ways in which both I as pastor and people in the congregation who wanted change failed because either I as pastor or they as lay leaders or we as a congregation failed to understand that we were being faced with an adaptive challenge and not a technical problem. Oft times I have sought adaptive solutions to technical challenges only to be rebuffed because I did not understand the difference and did not make the case for change in the adaptive mode. As a result, I have faced the quote below and have felt the sting of loss that results from it. Maybe it will help you to understand the difficulty of the atmosphere that you face in trying to create change. If it helps, good. If you find you need more help than just a quote, post a comment and I will give some more insights from "Leadership on the Line" or other resources I am learning about. Here is the quote.

"It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out, nor more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to handle, than to initiate a new order of things. For the reformer has enemies in all those who profit by the old order, and only lukewarm defenders in all those who would profit by the new order, this lukewarmness arising partly from fear of their adversaries, who have the laws in their favour; and partly from the incredulity of mankind, who do not truly believe in anything new until they have had the actual experience of it.''

Niccoli Machiavelli

The Prince and The Discourses

Sadness, Politics, and Tony Compolo

It is election time again and the media is having a field day. As always, the media revel in the failures of others. So far, there have been homosexual, alcoholic pedophiles; racist remarks from senators; Playboy Party going senate candidates; a gubernatorial candidate that is accused of rape and has petitioned the courts successfully to have the security tape of the scene released in the hopes that it will revive his candidacy and prove his innocence in the media; and stem cell sufferers who believe that taking life is the way to help save their lives. It is sad - and that is what the media feasts upon. Politics has become less the expression of ideas as it is the measurement of your character by those who are filled with character flaws. The sexual predilections of Rep. Foley become fodder for a party that had Ted Kennedy as one of it's senior leaders. Hmmm. That speaks of dual standards by our vaunted two-party system. Imagine!
Now comes the latest and saddest revelations. The head of the National Association of Evangelicals, Rev. Ted Haggard, a Colorado pastor of a 14,000 member megachurch and a political figure by virtue of his positions, now admits to:
a) Buying meth from a drug dealer
b) Getting a massage from a homosexual prostitute
c) And he is accused by that prostitute of participating in and paying for homosexual sex

Sad. Horribly sad. On a new program today, noted speaker and sociologist Tony Compolo, one of the most controversial and thought provoking voices in the Christian community, spoke to how sad this all is (and I agree). He then made a critique that is becoming a matter of some debate and question in both political and religious circles. It is the wedding of Conservative Christians with the Republican party. Compolo critiqued it as a failed decision that takes the church away from ministry and into the realm of politics. Good critique, huh? Maybe. And maybe not.

I am reading one of the best books on Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. It is a fascinating tale of his theological development and his homiletical (preaching) development. It concentrates in the first half or more of the book with Dr. King's plagiarism in his doctoral dissertation and his "borrowing" of parts or structures of sermons and, eventually, publishing them as his own in a book called, "Strength to Love". It also discusses his disillusionment with liberalism in both theology and politics (things he embraced when he began his ministry but rejected by the end of this life). What does all this mean? It means that Compolo is partially right. Even Martin Luther King, Jr. came to realize that politics and Christianity are a little like oil and water, they don't mix and, if they do, they become flammable. The church has a right to speak out about morals and moral issues but when it embraces a political agenda and PAC philosophy, it gives up the high moral ground and becomes just another political pawn that will be used by one side or the other (or both) for their own purposes. I don't profess to know how, but the church has to stay out of politics and still influence those who make those kinds of policy decisions. When the media begins to focus their lens on the lives and quirks of even the most respected faith leaders, something dark always seems to surface. It is humbling to remember that no matter how high we soar we still cannot approach the lofty heights of heaven. And if we continue to fly higher and higher in the media world, we will come crashing down by the true word or the false accusations of others.

New Ventures Experienced

It seems highly appropriate to share a little bit about our new venture and what actually happened. It was a very nice service at First United Methodist. It was Reformation Sunday (something those of us in the "free" church tradition tend not to follow is the Church Calendar so this was a unique experience) and in honor of that the service was strongly musical highlighting the music compositions of a particular songbook. The choir, about 30 members, was excellent. The rest of the service concentrated on the reading of scripture, a children's sermon, an abbreviated sermon about music, a testimony about stewardship of attendance at church, and congregational singing. It was very comfortable, worshipful and meaningful. I would love to go back and probably will during a more traditional service. The lady behind us greeted us after service and welcomed us to the congregation. No one else seemed to notice us or pay us much attention. It is an older, downtown, fairly substantial (in terms of attendance) congregation. We received no materials concerning the church (other than the bulletin) and we were not recognized as a visitor in any formal or informal way. All told, I give them a strong B.
Sunday night we attended our home church to listen to a special speaker who is in for several days to teach the congregation how to take Pasadena for Christ. He has a five fold plan that is based on casting out demons and taking hold of principalities (a higher strength of demonic power I gather). He spoke for more than an hour without notes in a rambling style that featured more of his own personal story and successes than it did scriptural teaching or principles that would allow the church to take Pasadena for Christ. All in all, I think I would rather have the morning service rather than the evening service. Why? I am tired of 5 point plans; of Rick Warrenesque models of how to renew your life and church; of the latest program that worked at my megachurch and will surely have the same results if you do it in your single cell country congregation. If God is alive and active in the life of a church, maybe the church should be listening for what God is saying in their midst rather than having the latest guru tell you how they did it in their setting (which usually has little in common with your setting). Why do we have so little confidence in God to work in our midst and so great a confidence in someone in whom God has worked in some place? Faith is not faith if it is in some person. Faith is only faith if it is in Christ.

New Ventures

Tomorrow is Sunday and Joanie and I are fulfilling a commitment we made when we arrived in Pasadena. After 31 years of pastoring and being tied to a single church, we are exploring the church scene in our new hometown. Now, we have already made a commitment to attend a local church (it's the Pasadena Church of God with Revs. Kirwen and Madeline Manning) and we really enjoy the church. They are having a guest speaker tomorrow and Joanie and I are going to visit one of the local churches. We are either going to First Methodist or Lake Ave. Congregational. Why are we doing this and what was our commitment?
Back in August I attended a strategic planning conference in Nashville for the Church of God. At the conclusion of the conference, I was asked to make a commitment of some sort to live out one or more of the principles embraced at the conference. The commitment I made was to live out a more intentional life when it comes to both race and ecumenism. So, when we arrived in Pasadena, we made a commitment to be involved in a mult-ethnic church that is predominantly African-American. Tomorrow the ecumenist part kicks in as we take one Sunday a month to visit a congregation that is not Church of God. If this time in our lives is to be a time of stretching and broadening our horizons, then we must see how "others" are living and worshiping and going about serving God. That sense of knowing and seeing first-hand what God is doing in other fellowships is a gift that God is giving to us.
In my Ph.D. seminar I have become good friends with an African-American student who is Pentecostal. My professor is Anglo but has his ordination from an African-American Pentecostal Church and now attends a Japanese Methodist Church. My mentor is a Lutheran minister. On Tuesday's I have a study group with two ladies - one is an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church and the other is pretty eclectic when it comes to her background (she did her Master's Degree at Oral Roberts and her Th.M. at Princeton - which is Presbyterian) and she is currently attending a Baptist Church here in Pasadena. As God grants us the chance to look beyond the scope of the Church of God Movement, I am blessed to see how He works in all kinds of places, with all kinds of people, in all kinds of ways. Maybe we all need to broaden our horizons a bit. After all, God is bigger than whatever we are facing or wherever we are headed. And that is good to know!

What's Really Behind the Wedding Shots

Here are a few pictures of Jonathan and Maria's wedding. I know it may not mean as much to those who do not know our family, but it does give me the excuse to talk about what it means to be in love.

This picture is of our son, Jonathan, and his lovely bride Maria on their wedding day August 27th of this year. As with every marriage, ahead of them waits mountains and valleys, problems and crises, happiness and celebration, and the unknown. Can you look at this picture and tell if they will be married for 5 years or 50 years? Of course not. A picture is a snapshot in time preserved to look like the subjects want you to see them. They look happy - but everyone can look happy if you have enough time to prepare for the shot. It's not the outside but the inside that contains happiness. Now, granted, it's their wedding day and, considering all they went through to get here, they surely are a happy couple. But happiness is a moment in time. It is fleeting - here and then gone. Love is a sustaining state because, unlike happiness, love is not dependent upon circumstance. Love is not an emotion. Love is a choice. Their happiness, in no small measure, emanates from their choice to love and commit themselves to one another and to God.

This is our youngest son, Joel, and his lovely wife of one year, Shafali. Do they look happy? Of course they do. But what is going on behind the smiles and the fancy clothes? Can you see inside of them and know what is going on in their lives, hearts, minds, and souls? Of course not. And in many ways, neither can they. They cannot know the fullness of all they feel and sense and know because they have not yet full matured in either their relationship with each other or, for that matter, in their understanding of themselves. What you see here is a portrait of time and place. What they are; who they are; what they are becoming: what they shall do; what they shall be; how they shall live - these are all things that are in a state of development. Even this happy, loving couple cannot know all they will know about who they really are. Love is not an instant broth. It is a slow cooker, simmering over a long period to bring out the full and rich character of a loving relationship.

Here is our eldest son, Doug and his lovely wife, Susan. How long have they know each other? How long have they been married? Has it been a year? Two? Five? Ten? More? Where did they get married? What was their marriage ceremony like? Of course, none of us can really know this. But Doug and Susan can not only tell you the answers to these questions but when they tell you the answers will become to them a story, a narrative movie in their minds. As they tell you the story of their nearly 15 years of marriage (my goodness, has it been that long, really!) they will remember the story of their love and, in some sense, relive it. That is how we keep our lives alive. Not just by looking at today or projecting into the future, but by telling our own stories of love and life. It becomes a way in which we all get to know one another. Stories of what has happened to us and how we came to be who and what we are are the stuff of friendships and the foundation of what the church calls fellowship (koinonia). And none of us has ever had too many friendships that are deep and lasting.

What does all this really mean? It means that weddings and funerals are the only times we tend to gather and tell the stories that define who we are, what we are becoming, and what what is happening to us. How sad! There is a wonderful gap in between those moments that we should all take advantage of. So, if your family is gathering at Thanksgiving or if your kids are going trick-or-treating on Halloween or if you have dinner planned with family members after church on Sunday, tell some stories; remember how things came to be; ask others to tell you their stories (is there anything we like better than talking about ourselves?); and listen to the heartbeat of the lives you love and the people you know best. And by the way, I really was happy in this picture - and, no, it was not a fleeting feeling. It was a rich, deep, abiding sense of love for all three of my children and the wives God has blessed them with.

100 Sermons

I'm reading a book by Richard Lischer called, "The Preacher King". It is subtitled, "Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Word that Moved America". It is a book concentrating on the preaching of Dr. King. I have a book analysis and presentation to do in my seminar late in November - I chose this book to read and analyze. I have only begun to read the book, but one startling fact has already jumped out at me. According to Lischer, Dr. King "preached, refined, altered, and re-preached a small canon of sermons, fewer than one hundred". Fewer than 100! (in my first year as a senior pastor I preached that many or more; one on Sunday morning, one on Sunday night, and a few special events in-between). Imagine, fewer than 100.
One of the "gifts" I posses is the "gift" every passionate preacher seems to have - it's called the "gift of continuation". If asked, I can preach on and on and on. But every Sunday I would try and come in with a new sermon. Imagine only preaching less than 100 sermons (remember, Dr. King spent the majority of his ministry traveling around to other churches and leading other congregations in his reconciliation agenda - many of these sermons were repreached quite effectively in various settings). Less than 100 sermons in which to change a society and change a world.
With 100 sermons Dr. King moved a country, won a Nobel Peace Prize, confronted Presidents, Governors, and racist local politicians who would attempt to stifle his voice and snuff out his life. In less than 100 sermons Dr. King pierced the conscience of a nation so bereft of moral fiber that it would look the other way as their neighbors lived in squalor and without the basic human rights guaranteed them under the Constitution and the Bible. In less than 100 sermons Dr. King changed the world. Think of it.
Over the course of 31 years in pastoral ministry I have preached thousands of sermons. Yet, the world has not been affected with nearly the same force as Dr. King's 100 messages. And I am reminded of a great Biblical truth: It is not quantity that makes the ministry but the depth, heart, passion, integrity, and truth of the message that changes society. The truth is that God was changing the world and Dr. King spoke to that change and helped pave the way for what God was doing (or about to do).
You know, it's not about the number of lessons or sermons or prayers or mission trips or ministry experiences we do - it's about God. It's about the God who takes a barren womb and makes it into the seed of many nations; who takes a simple shepherds staff and makes it into a snake and back again; who takes a shepherd boy and makes him into a King; who takes a prostitute and makes her into a hero; who takes a loaf and makes it into a feast; who takes a persecutor of the faith and makes him into a missionary; who takes a virgin, impregnates her before she is wed and calls her blessed; who takes a cross of shame and makes it into a symbol of hope; who takes a grave and makes it into an empty tomb; who takes a broken life and transforms it into the stuff of eternity. If that is the kind of God you are (and He is!) can it surprise anyone that all it took was a less than 100 sermons for one man to change a world?

The Future Lies Unseen Ahead, Sortof

I spent part of the evening with a group of 20 somethings - all seminary students, all experienced in various aspects of ministry inside and outside the local church setting, all bright and committed to Christ, all learners, all seeking to understand the greater picture of what God is doing. They were eager to learn, competent in sharing their faith with each other and with others, and concerned about the future of ministry.
As we went around the group, each was asked to look beyond seminary and what their future plans entailed. With two exceptions, none of them spoke of working in a local church setting. Only one (a non-North American) spoke of having aspirations of pastoring a local congregation. Each in turn expressed a varied group of desires, some clear and some muddled, about their future ministry. They talked about teaching, working in some kind of parachurch setting, or finding ministry outside the local church and being a support to the church. They were Baptist, Presbyterian, Conservative, Liberal, working in Youth Ministry, Children's Ministry, College Ministry - they spanned the gap of the modern church in America. But what was clear is that they saw a disconnect between ministry and the church. And I believed them.
If the church today is plagued with any one disease it is the disease of self interest. We have come to believe that the church is important. Nothing could be further from the truth. Those who don't go to church don't sit around and wonder what those who do think and believe. They go about their living and dying without thinking much about what goes on inside our ivory towered schools and stain glassed sanctuaries. The church is being influenced by the society in which we live. The tragedy is that the church does not affect the society in which it ministers. Compare that to what you read in the Book of Acts or in the writings of Paul.
The sanctuary walls have to come down. The church was never designed to hide behind them. If the future is ever going to be realized the way that Christians pray it will, the sermons are going to have to be written on the sidewalks and the crossroads of the city; in the fields and the sprawling farms of the countryside. Pulpits must become like John the Baptist - places people seek out to be filled with the Spirit so that they can go back to where they live and become leaven in the loaf of society.
I have been writing and corresponding with a blogger named, appropriately enough, TheRandomBlogger. You can read our conversation under the heading of "Renewing Our Passion" in this blog. His questions are questions that the next generation is asking. What shall we say? Saying to them that the future lies unseen ahead, sortof, isn't going to be enough. What shall we say? Something helpful, I hope. We will see. We will see.

Now, It's Your Chance

Frustrations come in many forms. I have been frustrated at others - like slow drivers on the freeways or people behind the counter at Taco Bell that ignore you while you are standing there ready to order your lunch. At times, I have gotten frustrated at God - like when I want my prayers answered my way or when God seems to take a much longer time responding than I think is necessary. But, like most of us, I get more frustrated at myself than I do at others or at God. Today, I took some time off. I rested a little bit from the grind of days and then got busy this afternoon working on my classwork for tonight. However, I didn't plan my time very well. By the time Joanie came in the door from work, I needed another hour to be ready for class. Unfortunately, there was less than a half an hour before I had to be in class. When I entered the Hebrew classroom I was afraid I wasn't quite prepared. Well, I was right. Two words that I had trouble remembering from the vocabulary list were on the quiz. I got them confused. In the end I got 3 wrong. Not the end of the world, but I was frustrated. Not that I got them wrong but that I hadn't managed my day very well.
You ever feel like that? Frustrated not at failure or loss but at not managing things the way you wanted? That kind of frustration comes out of a sense that God has given you so much that you could do that, when you feel like you wasted your potential, you feel like you've let everyone down - yourself, the teacher (or boss or family member or friend or co-worker or whomever), God, and your own expectations. What do you do with that frustration? That's a great question. I have known athletes that use their own failures as motivation to reach greater heights. I read the Gospels and see the greatest failure (the crucifixion) becoming the greatest symbol of hope in the world. What I do know is that God gives second chances (and third, fourth and fifth ones, too!). Whatever frustrations we may have at our own failure to fulfill the potential we have or the possibilities in front of us, it does not mean that we have to wallow in the lost moment. God gives us a lifetime to use both for His glory and for our redemption. God allows me to redeem the lost moment. Next Tuesday I will, once again, take a Hebrew quiz. I don't know if I will do any better, but I do know that I will be better prepared. I would rather have that sense of fulfillment that comes when you do your best than this sense of frustration that comes from fumbling the moment. That's my decision. Now, it's your chance.

Keeping Busy

For a guy who only has class for 3 hours on Monday and less than two hours on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, my calendar is pretty full. How does that happen? Let me tell you:
Tomorrow I have a two hour study group for Hebrew. I have lots of questions and need lots of help. I hope Courtney is ready to help! After a Chiropractor adjustment at noon I have nothing in the afternoon. Except, I have a quiz in Hebrew and the list is now up to 80 vocabulary words and all these different endings for plurals and gender and direct objects and other stuff. It seems like each word can have all kinds of add-ons. It will take me the afternoon to get it all straight for the quiz tomorrow night. I have to stop at the bookstore and spend another $100-150 for books. I am supposed to be reading 350 pages this week for Monday's Methods seminar. Tomorrow night I am a Teaching Assistant in a Foundations of Ministry Class (so I can't go to the professional seminar that for Ph.D. students entitled, "Teaching: Beginning Course Development, Grading, and Identifying Plagiarism") and I have to read about the small group lesson I will be involved with - as I will be meeting with one of the 9 small groups that have formed out of the class. Of course that doesn't account for having to go to the bank, do some shopping for dinner, and cook dinner so that Joanie and I can eat a meal for about 45 minutes before I have to go to Hebrew class. Hmmm. Where does the time go?
No matter what your job, career, task, or situation, work, duties, and responsibilities will always fill up available space. The key is making sure that the really important stuff doesn't get postponed in order to do "the tyranny of the immediate". That reminds me, I have to sit down and make up a schedule tomorrow of what is really important and what can wait. Hmmm. Another thing to add to my list!

How Focused Is Your Focus

The weekend has been a whirlwind of activity. In the course of all that has been going on, I found myself becoming an observer. I have been watching others as they have found a particular focus. As I sit here tonight, the late breaking news on all the 24 hour news channels is that North Korea has exploded a nuclear underground test. Obviously, that should be our focus. 24 hours ago or so, I performed the wedding for Kevin and Saronn. I doubt that their focus was on anything except the wedding and the honeymoon. Over the last week I have watched my normal diet of NFL talk. The focus of the entire week was on T.O. coming to Philadelphia and what would happen. Well, after all the talk T.O. did almost nothing and the Eagles beat the Cowboys - now all the football pundits look foolish for trying to get us to focus on T.O. coming back to Philly (although the game was a really good football game to watch). To be real honest, I have been focusing on reading the next book for my class and making sure that I understand what it says. Everything else has been a distant second. Except, this morning I had to preach at a church here in Pasadena. You know, it's funny how something like that can consume your focus, even if it was for only an hour or so.
So many things compete for our attention in life. Our kids, job, boss, house, car, co-workers, bills, taxes, food, traffic, illness, schoolwork, and T.O. (OK, maybe not T.O.). But, nevertheless, the problem of getting through the day or the week is figuring out what I am supposed to focus upon. What is important to me? What is important to the world in which I live? What is important to those with whom I am in relationship? What am I supposed to focus upon? I won't presume to answer this question. All I really know is that you cannot focus on everything. Somehow, each of us has to decide what is really important. And in determining what is important, all I really know is that you cannot do it in isolation. Whatever you think is important it must also be important to the world around you. Otherwise, you end up being selfish and self-serving.

Loving to Learn; Living to Learn

It may not seem all that exciting to some, but I have spent one of the most productive hours of my time here just now. One of the problems you face when coming into a new situation (whatever or wherever that new situation may be) is that everyone who has been there for a while has their own language - shorthand, if you will. They speak in their"language" and those who are not vested in the verbiage feel left out and un-communicated. Let me tell you what I mean.
I am in the first two weeks of my Ph.D. classes and in the seminar I have, everyone seems to be very much at home with all the philosophical terms and characters. They talk about epistemology and metaphysics; Plato and Aristotle; conation and praxis - things I don't know or don't remember. I feel a little overwhelmed sitting around with those who have been in the program or in the classroom for several years now and I am the new guy on the block trying to get into the groove after being out of the classroom for 15+ years. Anyway, I have to read a book for Monday by a guy named Thomas Groome. Everyone says he is real "dense" or "thick" - meaning he is tough to read. Well, I think he is a real godsend for me. I just spent an hour or two reading his capsulization of philosophical thought from ancient people's belief in mythological gods to Sophists to Skeptics to Plato and Aristotle . . . and I understood it! What a relief to finally have a handle on the shorthand that everybody is using. Now I get it and I, too, can enter into the conversation intelligently. I feel like I'm back in the saddle again. And it's a good feeling.
A couple of thoughts come to mind. We are terrible in the church at using our own language. People come walking into worship and the words we use and the language we speak sounds about as strange as epistemological and ontological sound to most of us. Who understands words like salvation and sanctification; holiness and baptism; Habakkuk and Thessalonica? The answer is not many. And no one who comes to visit on Sunday morning. Next Sunday when you go to church, listen for all the "church words". Write them down on the sheet provided for taking notes on the sermon. It's OK, your pastor won't mind. Add up the words after you get home on Sunday and you will understand why a lot of folks visit your church once - and don't come back. It's not because you aren't friendly or nice. It's because they don't understand what the heck we are all talking about. And no one wants to appear dumber than everyone else. On the other hand, go to a small group or to a Wednesday night bible study; go pray with someone at the altar who makes a commitment to Christ; spend some time in prayer with someone who is in need or in the hospital or at a crisis point. Be there when they have that "aha" moment when all the stuff they have just heard about but really didn't understand suddenly comes careening into their lives and they get it. It's a wonderful thing to see. Actually, it's what Plato describes as the "ideal" - when your mind realizes what is really real, really true. That is what church is really about. It's about helping others, "get it".

A Message of Hope

I've been reading a book by Don Browning called, "A Fundamental Practical Theology" for my Ph.D. seminar. While it is a very technical, philosophical treatment of the issues surrounding the questions of Practical Theology (the disciplines of preaching, worship, pastoral care, Christian Ed., etc), Browning has one major thesis. It is one with which I struggle. Here it is.
All issues regarding practical theology (even theology in general) should go from the practice of a religious community (such as a church or of an individual) to theological reflection back to practical application. Browning would say it goes from practice to theology to practice.
Sounds pretty straightforward doesn't it. However, I have spent a lifetime being taught (especially as it relates to preaching) that you start with God's revelation and move from there to application. In other words, from theology to practice. I've also been taught that you come to these kinds of issues by losing all your preconceived prejudices and beliefs and try to look at the scripture or the situation in the life of the church objectively, without any preconceived notions or ideas. In other words, from theology to practice.

Browning challenges whether theologians or anyone in any field can fully devoid themselves of their preconceived ideas and become totally objective. In reality, Browning questions whether you should try and be objective. Instead, Browning suggests that we have to come to realize and accept the beliefs and perspectives we bring to an issue and confront them (you can tell he has a psychology background, can't you?). Well, that may all seem a bit technical for this blog, but I do have a point. Here it is. You are the sum of all you have experienced. Not only are we not made alike (or, to put it positively, we are all unique) but we are molded by all that we experience in life. I know I am a very different student coming to the classroom now after 31 years of pastoral experience than I was when I was doing my M.Div. studies nearly 20 years ago. I am no longer the man I was at 33 - nor am I supposed to be. I have grown, struggled, failed, succeeded, loved, been hurt, learned and become a very different person. In that sense, God is still making me into the person he wants me to be. And all those experiences - good and bad, happy and sad, hopeful and frustrating - are part of the shaping that God is doing in me . . . and in you.
We are not there yet. We are still becoming. And no matter where you are in that process, it is still a process. So, why should I devoid myself of this knowledge and experience when I come to the scriptures or the issues facing the church? If God has gone to all this to give me these experiences and create out of them an new me, why should I repress them and not consider them when I have to make a decision? Maybe that is Brownings real point. All of life and faith and belief is a journey in Practical Theology. And that journey starts with what I am doing now and why I do it; it moves from there to ask questions of the Word and the books and things I've learned that have molded me into who I am; and it finally concludes as I put into practice that which I have come to know about myself, about my God, about the truth of the bible, and about the truths of the faith. If that sounds like an ongoing journey that doesn't end here at this moment but continues on throughout life and beyond the grave, then you have caught my drift. And that is a message of Hope!

"Lost"

My son is a huge fan of the T.V. show, "Lost". I hear it is a good show, but I haven't gotten into it. But the concept fascinates me. Not that I have some strange desire to end up crashed on a remote island but I like the fact that the show is really about second chances, renewal, and redemption (At least, that is what I hear it is about!). Plus, I think we all get lost during our lives. Let me give you some prime examples:

1. My son, Jonathan, started a new job a year ago working at Fry's Electronics. After being on the job a week he was quite frustrated because he didn't know where things were and how to help customers. He was feeling "lost". Now he is a Supervisor at the store and helps to supervise others who are helping customers find what they need. He is now the person they go to for help.
   
2. My wife, Joanie, is teaching school in Gardena, Ca. That's about a 30 mile commute in L.A. Joanie has to go through downtown L.A. to get to her school. That's a pretty daunting task for Midwestern gal. She has found her way through L.A. freeways and even gotten off them onto surface streets when the freeways are backed up. On more than one occasion she has gotten "lost" and had to find her way through strange territory in downtown L.A. Today, after less than a month, she is an "expert" at driving through L.A. The next time we have to go anywhere south, she is driving!
3. I had my first Hebrew class last night. In preparation for the class I read on my own the first two chapters of the grammar text, memorized the alphabet and some of the key issues related to how letters are changed, formed, written, and pronounced. I wanted to be prepared. I guess I was afraid if I didn't do it, I would be "lost". Guess what? If I hadn't done that I would have been totally and completely (you guessed it) "lost" for the whole first lecture. Instead, I was able to follow the course, get the information I needed, and am prepared for the first quiz which will be Thursday.

My point? Simply this. Everyone experiences the feelings of being lost. You don't know which decision to make, which road to take, which direction your life should follow. Don't panic. Lostness is one of the key ways in which God reveals himself. The Israelites were "lost" for 40 years in the Wilderness; Jesus was "lost" for 40 days in the desert; Paul was "lost" for 3 years before Barnabas came and "found" him for his missionary work; Abraham was "lost" but the Lord led him to a promised land. When you are lost you are on the verge finding. You see, lostness makes you dependent on God. You seek His counsel instead of your own wisdom. What do you do to prepare for being "lost"? You prepare to serve the Lord. Good times are really just preparation for tough times. If things are going really well for you spiritually, read the Bible more, spend more time in prayer, and get your personal spiritual life in order. Why? Because a time of lostness is coming. If you prepare now, you will know what to do then. And if you are living in a time of lostness that you really weren't prepared for - that's OK. Just become dependent now on the God of Light and He will lead you through the darkness. And then when things are good, remember to prepare for the next eclipse. Jesus was prepared to go to the Cross (his time of "lostness"). That's how he got through it and how we became part of the Kingdom. Be prepared!

Where Your Money Is

Well, I've registered for classes and begun the long and expensive process of buying books. Unlike my Master's level work where a professor might require 3-4 books, in the Ph.D. program the books pile up quite high (my seminar for the Fall semester require the 3 books the M.Div. students need plus 8 more just for Ph.D. students - 11 total). Over the next 10 weeks I will be required to read about 3,500 pages (350 per week) and write a 30 page paper on both the reading and the research. So far, I've purchased about half the books I need for the seminar and for Hebrew. Already the total has exceeded $250 for books and will approach $400 by the time it is all said and done. Add that to the tuition bill, parking permit, various campus fees and charges, and the cost becomes substantial. I know. I wrote the check for it all today.
Was it hard to write the check? Not really. No one wants to give away thousands of dollars but that's not how I have been looking at it. The bible says, "Give and it will be given to you, pressed down, shaken together all running over into your lap. For the measure you give is the measure you get back." Jesus also believed that "where you treasure is there will your heart be also." So, I wrote the check willingly. Believing that this is merely an investment in the future; in what God is doing in me and, eventually, through me.
On what do you spend the most amount of your money? Is it your mortgage? Well, what are you doing in your home that is an investment in your ministry today and in the future? Is it your car? How are you using your vehicle to reach out to others with the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Is it a vacation home? Appliances? Tuition for your kids schooling? Groceries? Whatever it is, remember this. You get what you pay for! Everyone invests their money in something. What is it that you are investing your treasure in? That is your priority in life. Does it really match up well with who you say you are?

What Am I Doing Here?

I sat and ate lunch today with about 50-75 Ph.D. students and professors as part of the orientation activities here at Fuller. They are a fascinating group of folks. Some already have one doctorate and are working on another; some have degrees from places as prestigious as Princeton; some have degrees from Cambridge in England - and those are the students not the professors. One of my new colleagues is proficient in Hebrew (I intend to make him my friend!) along with several other Semitic languages; another is working under a grant that has her displaying her artistic work in an L.A. museum; still another is head of the Campus Life ministry at Stanford University and is commuting each week from San Francisco to L.A. by plane. They are by any stretch of imagination, an impressive group of students, highly motivated, and extremely accomplished.
Then come the professors. One had just had a book published; another was just about finished with the first volume of a two-volume major work; several were working in conjunction with major religious denominations or organizations to write or consult with them about issues of extreme importance to the Christian community. They are experts in their respective fields and scholars who are so accomplished that they have been invited to be on the teaching staff of one of the most prestigious seminaries in the world and they are the men and women influencing the next generation of professors and scholars by mentoring people like me and my classmates through this long, arduous, and dangerous journey called graduate education.
Looking around the luncheon I couldn't help but wonder what I am doing here. My academic credentials are not nearly as strong as most of my colleagues or any of the professors. While I may not be the oldest student entering the program, I am close. I am no spring chicken, no eager young beaver trying to set out on a program to change the world. Who am I to be in such distinguished company? I'll tell you who I am. I am a child of the King, chosen by His Spirit to travel down this road. I cannot tell you why He chose me, but I know He chose me. And that is enough.
The next time you are "chosen" to take on some task at work or some ministry at church; the next time someone places a confidence in you and your abilities or character that, in your own mind, exceeds who you are and what you can do; the next time you face a situation where the mountain seems to high or the valley seems too low, take heart my friend and ask one very simple question. Does He want you to go? Is the Spirit the one who is leading you down this path? Has the God of the Universe determined that of all the servants of His that He could choose, He has chosen you? Then, that is enough. And in a room full of scholars or a business filled with highly competent workers or in a church that has more qualified and mature followers of Christ, remember this one truth. If God is for you, who can be against you? If God has called you how can you fail if you remain faithful to His call and close to His will? This thing called mission and ministry is not about your ability nor is about your inability. It is about one thing. Your availability. It's about His strength and your weakness that creates dependence on Him rather than independence of Him and dependence on yourself. In short, it's not about you. It's about God. And I think He knows what He is doing!

Renewing Your Passion

One of the oddities about pursuing a doctorate in preaching full-time is that you have to give up preaching. After spending the last 31 years (or, at least, most of it) preaching every Sunday, I am in a situation where I no longer preach. As a matter of fact, after resigning from my pastoral duties in Fresno, I had only one other assignment to preach and that was in September (I finished my assignment at the end of July). So, after all those years of preaching weekly, I have been relegated to preaching “seldomly”. And I say, “Thank God”. But not for the reasons you might think.
First of all, I enjoy preaching. It is my passion. To be away from a pulpit is not fulfilling to me. Secondly, preaching is an art that must be practiced in order to be improved. While my wife may or may not enjoy hearing me preach at her when we are home, it does not quite equate with preaching to a congregation. Thirdly, preaching is a discipline that keeps your grounded in the Word and faithful to the “whole counsel” of God. So, considering these things, why would I say, “Thank God”?
Someone has said that a routine is just a grave with the ends knocked out. After 3 decades of preaching, there is a danger that it becomes routine. The preacher begins to do “formula” preaching rather than really dealing with the depths of the Word. It is easy to get into the habit if allowing sermon preparation to substitute for the richness of studying the Word of God for personal insight and pleasure. It is also easy to become reliant on your technique and your process rather than relying on the Spirit of God to be your inspiration and your insight. By preaching with less frequency, I find that I am seeing things in a fresh new way. God is continuing to give me opportunities to preach (I have another assignment at a local church in early October and a series of sermons to preach in Ohio in January of next year). Now, because of the infrequency, I am finding renewed passion and joy in both the preparation and experience of the sermon.
What have you been doing for a long time? What has become “routine” in your life? What did you use to depend upon God for but find yourself doing now in your own power and might? How easy it is to become dependant on nothing except your own abilities! What have you done in your life and ministry with passion but find that it is now being done by formula and routine? Maybe it’s time to step away from it for a while. Let the batteries recharge. Don’t give it up forever or step away permanently. I find that this is the choice most church members make and it is frustrating. The solution to renewing your passion is not quitting your passion! The solution is to find ways to renew your mind and review your procedures. Having preached once in the last 6 weeks, I can tell you I am looking forward to being in the pulpit in a couple of weeks. Thank God he has given me the gift of stepping away from my passion in order to draw closer to it!

It's All Hebrew to Me!

It’s All Hebrew to Me

One of the classes I am preparing to take is Hebrew. In order to fulfill the requirements of the Ph.D. program, every student has to have already taken both Greek and Hebrew (Fortunately, I took Greek as both an undergrad and in my Masters Degree program and have completed that requirement). In addition, everyone has to take another research language or two. But for now, my focus is Hebrew. Let me tell you a little bit about Hebrew, assuming most who read this have not had their bar mitzvah or chosen to study Hebrew on their own. Here goes:
As with any language study, you begin with the alphabet. The first thing that grabs you is the similarity of some of the letters. For instance, there are at least six different letters that are variations on the letter 7. Depending on how long the top line is or how straight the down stroke is or how long the down stroke is (combined with how long the upper stroke is) you get different letters. Five letters are written differently if they are at the end of the word. Several letters (called Begadkephat Letters) are pronounced differently depending on whether they have a dot in the middle of them or not (Begadkephat is a is a mnemonic device standing for the letters b, g, d, k, p, and t). Hebrew has no numbers so their alphabet stands for their numerical system as well. The first 9 consonants stand for numbers 1-9, the next 9 serve as 10-90, and the final 4 represent numbers 100-400. Sound confusing? By the way, did I mention that Hebrew is written from right to left – not left to right?
How do you learn this kind of stuff? Well, the first thing you have to do is suspend what you know and how you operate in English and realize that things are different in Hebrew. When I write, I have begun writing everything from right to left in my Hebrew studies. I want that to become normal for me. I am adjusting.
Second, don’t panic when things are different. For instance, a and b look a lot alike. So do b, d, g and p; how about n and m; try o and p – it’s just a line different. And in English, we have not 26 letters to memorize but 52. After all, a capital A and a lower case a are not very similar if you think of it. And how does someone tell the difference between a capital I and a lower case i? So, if you have mastered English, Hebrew may not be that hard. It’s all in your approach, in your attitude.
So many people have heard about the language study or going back into the classroom that I am attempting to do and have said things like, “I’m glad it’s you and not me” or “I couldn’t do that”. Such statements are often discouraging rather than uplifting. I have also concluded that language study like anything else is a matter of attitude not aptitude. For years I avoided the issue of language study because I did so poorly at it during my high school years. Well, I did poorly at a lot of things in high school that I have become quite adept at in my adult years (driving, egotism, and wisdom come to mind). I am convinced that learning at whatever level is a matter of attitude. If you are excited about learning, you will learn. If you are unsure about it, you will struggle. It’s like my Little League coach told us, “If you think you are going to strike out, you probably will”.
What challenge are you facing? What struggle do you have to overcome? While it might not solve every problem, remember this – your attitude determines your altitude. How high you go in life is determined by how your attitude is towards the challenge before you. Faith, it is said, is the ability to look at a problem and believe that God is bigger than the problem and that he is willing to help you overcome the challenge. I believe that. By the way, have I mentioned that all the vowels in Hebrew were added later and that, therefore, they are a series of dots rather than characters above or below the consonant? Sounds challenging. How exciting!

Balancing Act

I spent Sunday watching NFL football. For all you non-sports fans, I apologize. But for all of us who truly enjoy the sport, it was a magical day. As a boy I grew up rooting for and watching the Philadelphia Eagles play. Now, through the magic of the Dish Network, I am able to watch them again. It takes me back to simpler days and gives me a chance to daydream nostalgically about my childhood days.
I like to do that, don’t you? To remember fondly the days of my youth and what I did or did not do. Reminiscing about days gone by. But, like the old saying goes, “too much of a good thing can be a bad thing”. One of the great principles from the Bible is that we are to live lives of moderation. Now, some would say that the Word teaches we should live lives of sacrifice. While I certainly believe that sacrifice is both necessary and needed in life, I am not sure that this is how we are supposed to live. Much of the sacrifice we are called to make is to ensure that we are living lives of moderation. One of the definitions of sin that applies too much of what is taught in the Word is that sin is taking something that is either good or OK and making it overly important in your life. Let me give you a few examples:
1. Sex – God created sex. It is something that comes from Him to us. He has deemed it to be pleasurable. We are created to enjoy it. However, God realizes the powerful nature of the sexual urge and tells us to live moderately. The moderation of sex is not in its frequency but in it’s context. The moderation God calls on is moderation of when you should begin and with whom you should engage in sexual activity. There is no prohibition I know of in scripture against the frequency of sexual activity (I believe there are some prescriptions in the Law about refraining from sexual activity during a woman’s menstrual period, but that is for the comfort of the woman during a period of time when it can become painful or awkward).
2. Celebration in Worship – God inhabits the praises of His people. Part of what we should do in worship is to give Him praise and to celebrate His presence. Paul teaches the Corinthian church that even this noble activity must be done in moderation (an apparent critique of the excessively exuberant celebrations of the “tongues” crowd). Praise is good and necessary but it also must be done in moderation.
3. Giving – God loves a cheerful giver. But He teaches that even our giving should be in moderation. Now, it is true that the only proper way to give is to give God everything. And that we should do. However, from a “giving away” perspective (that is, what you give to the church to be disbursed for ministry in the Name of Christ), God teaches a tithe (10%). In other words, God commands even moderation in what we give while allowing us to make all that we can (as far as I know there is no prohibition against making only a certain amount of money). Now, for those who are gifted at making money there is a commensurate spiritual gift of giving that exceeds the 10% rule but it remains a moderation of the whole. These are just a few examples of the principle of moderation. That makes me thankful. When God had Adam and Eve in the Garden He told them to eat of all the trees, except one. Moderation. When the Apostle Paul was struck with his “thorn in the flesh” he said it was to prevent him from becoming “conceited” because of these great wondrous revelations he was receiving. Again, the principle seems to be that of moderating even blessings so that nothing in life is out of balance. So, while I have the NFL Ticket and can watch all games beginning with the ones that start at 10am on Sunday morning, I will still go to church. Why? Because all of life is to be in balance. Hmmm. I wonder if I can find a church that has a Saturday night service?

A Pain in the Back and a Joy in the Heart

I threw out my back last week. I want to tell you a little bit about it not so much to gain sympathy as to make a point. Here goes:
I was moving boxes and unpacking things when I felt the pain and anguish that I knew was my lower back going into spasm. I hit the floor and could not get up. Literally. I lay on the floor for about an hour before I could call for some help (I had to crawl about 12 feet to get to my phone). The help was simply to get me some pillows and the TV remote because I knew that getting up was not possible. Joanie called and I let her know what had happened. She is teaching at a school about an hour commute from here. So, I was stuck just laying on the floor. I stayed there until Sunday afternoon. After getting several treatments from a chiropractor who made house calls (how about that one!), I was able to get up and at least walk around. Now it is Tuesday and I am still hobbling, though I did manage to make it to her office for an adjustment. I am still sleeping on the floor and getting help from neighbors and others who are sympathetic to my situation. Eventually, I am sure I will be able to get back to normal but it will take some time. Joanie has been going to work every day so I have to fend for myself as best I can and get around as best as possible. So, here is my point:
Everyone should have to experience throwing out his or her back. I hope you will have such an experience – and that you will experience it very soon. No, I am not a sadist that desires for you to “fell my pain” or one who seeks revenge through another’s suffering. But I do believe that everyone should experience what I have gone through over these few days. Why? Well, I remember watching an episode of M.A.S.H where Hawkeye is blinded by an explosion. The temporary situation gave Hawkeye an incredible series of experiences that he would never have known had he not been blind. By the end of the episode, his sight returns and he is a changed man by virtue of what he has come to know. It is in that sense that I wish you a lower lumbar failure in your future.
We are so self-reliant as a race. In past years, being an agrarian culture, people knew what it was like to be dependant rather than independent. This fostered a real sense of community, comradely, and interdependence. Lying on the floor for days meant I could do nothing to really help myself. I could not get up for anything. Anything! What a wife I have! I have come to realize the importance of interdependence in our society. For the first time in my adult life, I am not pastoring a church. I am living in an apartment complex with other students and their families. I know almost no one and nothing about the Pasadena area. And yet, I have been able to get around, find out what is necessary, where to go, and received untold amounts of help from my new neighbors. One of them saw me today attempting to go out to the van to go to the chiropractor’s office and she ended up not only helping into the van but driving her car to the chiropractors office and helping me get out of the van and into the office (my chiropractor has to be the only chiropractor in the universe who’s office is on the second floor with no elevator! I am learning anew what Hawkeye learned on M.A.S.H. – that we our never self-reliant creatures but we are always in need of others and dependant upon the help of strangers.
In that sense I have come to understand the parable Jesus tells about the Good Samaritan. I understand the story now from the vantage point of the man who was beaten, helpless and left for dead. Without the help of others he was totally helpless. Unable to move from where he had been left to die; unable to pay for assistance since he had been robbed (I am currently without insurance until it kicks in from Joanie’s job); unable to call for help from those he knows since he is traveling and in a strange place apart from his family and circle of friends. I also understand the depth of gratitude he must feel toward the Samaritan man who helped him. When your are helpless and cannot get up, you are grateful for anyone and everyone who will lend you even the slightest care let alone pick you up and pay for your medical needs and recovery process.
So, I wish you one lower back strain. Not the pain but the pleasure. I wish you the joy of becoming interdependent and realizing what a great gift there is in leaning on others. I wish you a few days on the floor, not to get out of your job or school, but to give you some time to reflect on the goodness of God as he works through the concern and caring of others. And finally, I wish you that feeling of helplessness that you knew as a child that caused you to be dependant on your parents and that you will realize that God desires you to feel those same feelings toward Him – being dependant is what God calls “faith” in the Bible. And, we all need to have faith.

Distractions

For the first time in my life we have the Dish Network. We got it because, as an NFL fan, I wanted to get the NFL Ticket and be able to watch whatever football games I want whenever I want to watch them. When we arrived home from our son's wedding we found that the Dish was not working. That was yesterday. Today the technician arrived and fixed the Dish. Now we have TV.
It's amazing how much less I feel like I got done today because I could sit down and watch TV. TV is a distraction. That's what it is intended to be. It distracts you from the other things that should or could catch your attention. I have the tendency to come into the room and turn on the TV. It creates noise and, well, distracts me from day. Once distracted, I lose focus. Once I lose focus I become unproductive. Sound familiar?
Well, my new reality is that Joanie goes to work early in the morning and I get up early in the morning. What I am committed to do is to not turn on the TV until later in the day. I want to use my time wisely and productively. I don't need to be distracted from the needs of the day. I need to be focused.
What distracts you? What removes your focus? Do you get distracted by daydreams? How about worry? Do minute little details get your focus and you lose the big picture? Do you get caught up in other people's situations and fail to focus on the needs at hand? Sports? Shopping? Sleeping? The internet? Everyone struggles with their version of the Dish Network - Something that turns you away from what God and the priorities of the day would choose. What will you do about it? How will you overcome it? How you answer that will make all the difference in how you live your life and what you get done. Good luck. Focus!

Summing It All Up

At some point I am sure I will write the incredible story (in detail) of the wedding that took place on Sunday between our son, Jonathan, and his bride, Maria. I know every parent thinks that his or her child's wedding is the best, but I must say, the three weddings that I have officiated at for my three sons have been the most meaningful and joyous celebrations I have ever experienced at a wedding (and I've officiated at quite a few - over 100 for sure). Suffice it to say that the big surprise ending of the wedding was the story of what happened to Jonathan and Maria following the weeks after her surgery last August. It was my privilege to reveal that this fine young couple chose to get married last October in a private ceremony officiated by Maria's father and me so that they would not have to live together or do anything with their lives together that would compromise their values or their witness. However, that neither took away from nor diminished the wedding day. In many ways I believe it added to it - to make their witness complete. August 27th of 2006 became a marvelous triumph which redeemed the disastrous events of August 27th 2005. Instead of being a day of remembering what didn't happen and surgeries and all the rest, it now becomes a day of remembering what did take place and what has happened.
I believe that God has both the power and the desire to redeem the days for us. It took me many years before I could pass by a September 8th or a Valentines Day and not remember the death of my father or the funeral of my mother. But now, as time has passed, God has helped to heal the loss and redeem the days. What tragedy fills your calendar? What painful event remains a part of your internal clock so that, no matter what happens, you still remember it? Why not allow God to redeem the day? Plan some other celebration on that day or around that time that helps make the day a day or rejoicing instead of a day of sadness. Healing comes from God in many forms. Redemption is but one of them. Let God redeem your days.

Pain and Healing

I am so proud of my wife. She is an amazing woman with a heart as big as the outdoors. She has not only been 120% supportive of all the changes we are making in our lives so that I can go back to school, but she has also committed to taking on a full-time job so I can be a full-time student. How fortunate am I to have such support!
The only problem with this plan has been, well, two-fold. First, she doesn't have a job and all the prospects seem to be paying at a level that will not allow us to follow through on our "plan". Second, she has been in a great deal of pain. The doctors have given a number of theories from arthritis in her hips (the latest guess) to back problems to residual effects of her foot surgery two years ago (my theory). Whatever the diagnosis the pain has been so very real and she has sat down with tears in her eyes any number of times over the course of the last 2-3 weeks that we have been packing and preparing to move. How do I help her? What should I do to comfort this amazing partner who walks with such pain?
As we were packing Joanie received word that she was in the running for the teaching job at a Christian School in Gardena. Neither of us were sure that this was the answer to our prayers. We didn't know the salary or the commute distance. We didn't know if this was the right situation or the right place. And the pain kept coming. Could she be on her feet all day and teach if she was in such pain?
Two Sundays ago we went to church in Pasadena. During the service Joanie decided to just thank God for the job - not knowing whether she would get this one or not. Not knowing whether this was the job that God was leading her to receive. Then last Sunday, after taking the job, Joanie went to church and testified about how she had thanked God for a job last week and could now praise God because he had given her a job this week! And then an amazing thing happened. From Sunday onward she has been without pain in her hips and legs. From the time she testified about the job, she has been pain free.
Now, the cynics among us will say the pain was psychosomatic. Some will decry it was all in her head or that the medication the doctor gave her has finally kicked in or that it is just a coincidence. But Joanie would reply that she prayed for God to lead her to a job for many months. And when he did, she asked for the pain to be taken away so she could do the job that God led her to do. And now, she is walking normal and getting around without pain. To me, that sounds like God doing his work in his time with his power. I am naive enough to still believe that God heals. I am still practical enough to know that pain is one way that God uses to get our attention. In both cases, God is speaking. And Joanie, a wonderful and supportive soul who believes with all her heart, soul and mind has felt the touch of His hand and the healing that comes from on high. And I am rejoicing.

Final Pieces in the Puzzle

Have you ever noticed that when you put together a jigsaw puzzle there comes a point at which you can see the end and the pieces seem to start falling together quickly and with greater ease? It's like putting in the final few words of the crossword puzzle when you have half or more of the letters already in place. Life can be a little like that. At least, that's what seems to be happening to us. Let me explain.
Last week my wife and I moved to Pasadena, California. From Thursday to Saturday we packed boxes, unhooked cables, loaded the moving truck (four times - two to take things to storage and twice to take things to Pasadena). As we got to the final things in the house to pack, the work started to go faster and faster. While those several days were long and arduous, they seemed to move more quickly the closer we got to leaving Fresno behind and having Pasadena in the foreground.
After arriving at our new apartment, several friends (God bless all of them who helped us pack, load, and unload!) came to help us unpack the boxes it took us weeks to pack. We started with a huge pile of boxes in the living room (our thought was to place them all there and take them to each room for unpacking or storing). By the end of one day, the pyramid of boxes had disappeared into rooms, drawers, closets, and the spare room. Suddenly, we had a living room with furniture and a television and lamps and a place to sit and relax. As the day wore on, we found that the boxes seem to disappear with greater speed than they did at the beginning.
Today, as I visited with my son and his fiance (they are getting married next weekend) I received a call from my lovely wife telling me that she has found a job. This was the last piece of the puzzle for us in this more than year long process of preparing to follow God's leading to the place God wanted us to be. Joanie has found a job as a music teacher at a Christian School in the L.A. area. She was "discovered" by sending out a resume. They found it very impressive and ended up interviewing only her. She has the job. It will pay well enough for us to live on for the next year (or more, if she likes it). It is near the ocean (hmmm, maybe we will move closer to the school she teaches in and let me commute to the seminary - oh, no, that would involve moving, again!). It is an answer to prayer. It has full medical benefits for her and adding me on will not cost too much (I have to have medical insurance in order to be a student at the seminary). Just as all the other avenues seemed to be shutting down and we weren't sure where the funds would come from to allow us to live, God provided a way. And, just like the jigsaw puzzle, the pieces have come together with amazing speed and quickness.
If you are in one of those times in life where none of the puzzle pieces seem to be fitting together, you may want to step back and take a look at the bigger picture. After all, when they do start falling, the domino affect will cause things to speed up and you might just miss the joy of seeing how God works.

The Edge of Adventure

Some years ago, Bruce Larson wrote a book called, "The Edge of Adventure". I never really understood the full meaning of the title - until today. You see, for the last 31 years I have been the pastor of a local congregation. (I spent nearly 10 months out of the pastorate some 12 years ago but, during that hiatus, I always felt like I would be returning to a pastorate somewhere). Today, I have spent the first Sunday in my adult life believing that I will probably never return to a local pastorate. Anything is possible, and I will not suggest that I will never be a pastor of a local church again, but I feel like the possibility is remote. I have begun a new chapter of my life with little knowledge of what lies ahead. The next four years will be in the library and in the classroom. Research and writing - that is my lot for the next four years. I look forward to it with release and abandon. It is a chapter I have been waiting two decades to write.
What are you waiting for? What is the dream you hope to see happen? What adventure lies ahead of you? I kept thinking about Elijah today. He has been in my thoughts for more than a year now. He marched into the palace, confronted King Ahab, gave the Word of the Lord that no rain would fall until he came back and said, "Thus saith the Lord". Then he walked out of the palace into an unknown future. Apparently, he didn't even know where he was to go. Sometimes, that is the exact place that God desires that we should be - in a place that has a future, but that future is unknown to everyone except God. God had ravens at the ready, babbling brooks full of fresh water, and plenty of food to be brought to Elijah at the brook. All of which Elijah did not know. He delivered a message and walked into an unknown future and knew he was living in the Will of God. In a world where comfort and control are highly prized, being in a place where you have neither is undesirable. Unless God leads you into that place.
Nearly 10 months ago, Joanie and I sensed that God was leading us into a time in our lives where the future would be uncertain and our need to have faith in the God of the Future would necessarily have to increase. We sensed that the greatest times of our lives where ones in which our dependence on God was high and our knowledge of the future was low. Living dependently was, for us, living on the edge of faith (or, maybe, in the center of faith). It was highly desirable. And so, today, we ventured into life without knowing the future. Living a different life than that of the last 31 years. Scary? Nah. Exciting. You bet. This is what I have come to understand it means to live on "The Edge of Adventure".