Anticipation

I turned in my first paper for my Ph.D seminar this week. It was only a six page analysis of a book that I had read (a really interesting book on the preaching of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. entitled, "The Preacher King" - I wrote a blog entry about a while back). It was not a true research paper but a paper designed to interact the themes of the book with one of the major theorists that we have read in class in Practical Theology. If all that sounds too detailed, know this. It was the very first paper I have written academically in around 18 years. Am I nervous? You bet. I turned it in on Monday and got a call from one of the other guys in class that his (and everyone else in the class) had already been graded. So, I went by my profs office to retrieve mine only to find out that he had not graded mine yet. He let me know that, with one exception, everyone else was grading out to be a B. Now, that sounds great except in Ph.D work if you get more than 2 B's as final grades in your seminars, they call you in for an appointment to evaluate whether or not you should continue in the program. So, there is some pressure to excel academically. So, now I get to play the waiting game. For those who know me, it should come as no surprise that I hate the waiting game. If patience is a virtue, I got in the back of the line when they were handing it out. So, I get to anticipate what I got for a grade for the rest of the day.
What are you supposed to do when all you have is anticipation? How do you wait constructively? A few suggestions:

1. Wait don't fixate - the old adage, "a watched pot never boils" is an example of fixating on a problem. It lengthens the problem rather than compressing it. Go on a live life, do your work, go to the movies, do whatever you would normally do. Remember, anticipation does not have to rob you of the lived moment.

2. If you anticipate, imagine all the possibilities not just the negative ones - the real problem with anticipation is that we worry about WCS (worst case scenarios) rather than anticipating good things. For instance, in our home as the boys were growing up anticipation would rise as we got closer to Christmas Day. That kind of anticipation was so positively powerful that the boys did not want to know what presents had been purchased. They would not go into closets or pry into conversations to find out because they knew that reality would be even better than knowing because the anticipation made things more exciting. Now, I realize that anticipating bad news from the doctor or the teacher or the lawyer or the boss has little redeeming value and does not relate to Christmas excitement, except in this way. If you are going to anticipate what news is coming, at least anticipate all the possibilities and all the possible responses. If you think it is going to be bad news, consider the possible positive responses. For instance, the doctor is running tests to see if you need an operation. Consider how this could be a great weight loss program. The teacher is grading your paper - consider how much better you will be next time you have to write one because you will learn so much from the teachers notes about how you wrote this one. You get the point. Everything has a silver lining.
Just remember, anticipation does not have to be a bad thing unless you make it so. I hope I can remember that over the next few hours as I anticipate my paper and I pray you can remember this when you anticipate the news that has you anxious about your life.