Being in Charge vs. Being Responsible

One of the first things they told us during Orientation last September was that we, the PhD students, were responsible for our program. Not the CATS Office (Center for Advanced Theological Studies) - as a matter of fact it was the head of the CATS Office that told us this -; not the professors; not your mentor; not Fuller Seminary - you are responsible for developing and arranging your PhD program. I am finding out how true that is.
I am also finding out that there is a difference between being in charge and being responsible. While those two things go hand in hand at times, for the most part they do not. I am not in charge of my PhD program but I am responsible for it. And I like that. I like being responsible for things while not necessarily being in charge of them. After 30 years in the pastorate, I felt like I was in charge of little and responsible for much. However, my responsibilities were often more dependent on others and other things then they were my responsibilities. I think lots of pastors seek to be in charge of things so that they can control them better because they feel like, if I am the one who is ultimately in responsible for the outcome, I might as well be the one making all the decisions. Bill Parcells, the Dallas Cowboys head coach, once told the press that he wanted to be both the head coach and the general manager of the club. When asked why his reply was, "If you're going to cook the meal you ought be the one shopping for the groceries". He wanted to both choose which players to draft, sign and re-sign to contracts as well as determine which of those players should play which positions. Nice thought, huh? Well, it didn't work out for him and I don't think it has worked out for any other coach. There is a difference between being in charge and being responsible.
Next quarter (Spring Quarter) I am responsible for finding a seminar to take. My mentor is on Sabbatical and won't be available to do a seminar or reading with me. None of the current offerings in the PhD program for the spring will fit with what I want to do. Enter Dr. Todd Johnson. Todd is the Worship professor at Fuller. He is able and willing to do a seminar with me in preaching (part of his degree qualifies him to teach preaching as well). So, with excitement I asked what we could do for a directed reading seminar (meaning, just me and him and books to read and a paper to write). Well, he told me that I needed to put down a list of what I might want to study. In other words, I'm responsible but he's in charge. I like that. I am putting that list together for him and it will probably include learning about John Wesley and maybe some of the other reformers like George Whitfield or Francis Asbury. It might also be that I would be able to study somethings from the 19th century revivalistic movement (I am doing a report on Wednesday for this seminar on Charles Finney, the great revivalistic preacher of the 19th century). Whatever happens, I will be responsible for coming up with an area that I want to study and Todd will be in charge of how that ultimately looks. I like it that way. I don't mind cooking, I just like it when someone else does the shopping.