I have received some wonderful compliments over the past few days. If it doesn't sound too much like ego or bragging, I thought I might share a few of these things here. Here we go:
A friend of mine in ministry, Rev. Greg Kendall from Colorado, called the other day and he was on his way to Fuller for a DMin seminar. The DMin program is designed for pastors who want to further their education but have no real plans to teach (you have to be in a local ministry setting to even get into the program). Anyway, one of his teachers for the seminar is one of the professors that I am a TA for and who taught us last quarter in my PhD. seminar. Dr. Branson and Greg were talking and Greg mentioned our friendship. Dr. Branson's response was, "Jeff's a very bright student". Now, that was very nice to hear.
A few days ago my mentor, Dr. Clay Schmit, had me make a special presentation in our PhD. seminar. He asked me to review my book and give the students a chance to react and respond. After class, he told me what a good job I had done both in the book and in the class report. After hearing my report, he asked me to share an OT story from memory with his homiletics class. After that class, Clay told me that he wanted me to team teach a class with him next Fall or Winter. It is not something he does very often with one of his students. The last time he did it was with a student who is now a professor of homiletics in Michigan.
What does all this mean? Well, it's nice to be complimented and to be affirmed. Actually, it is more than nice - it is necessary. Every person needs to be loved. To be loved is one of the most basic of human needs. Affirmation and appreciation are a basic part of the "being loved" process. So far, so good. Now comes the next step.
We live in an age when believers and non-believers spend countless hours and billions of dollars on psychiatry, psychology, counseling, therapy, mood altering drugs, self help books that try to get others to like you, Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer, and Oprah. People are seeking to find a place and a group of people that are loving and affirming. And they are leaving the church in droves. Why?
The church is supposed to be a place where the love of God is not only talked about but lived out. Unfortunately, it is too often a place where love is given lip-service and gossip is the way of the day.
When was the last time someone called you a son or daughter of encouragement - or something like it? That's what they called Barnabas in the bible. He so encouraged others that they saw him as one who changed lives merely by his affirming of others. Over Christmas break, I thanked a saleswoman who had spent hours with me and my family helping us find gifts for Christmas. At one point the manager of the store came by and I told her what great personal service we had gotten from her employee. The act seemed to unusual that the store manager wrote it down. I just got an email from a fellow TA who I complimented to our professor in front of her. She is someone I really like and of whom I think highly. She was so grateful that she emailed me a personal thank you for saying something nice about her to someone else.
When did affirmation become so scarce in the Christian community that it is seen as unusual? When church problems and difficulties become more prevalent than affirmation and encouragement, the church is in deep trouble. When was the last time you told a family member, neighbor, co-worker, teacher, parent, child, or church member that you really appreciate them for who they are? If it takes a while to answer that, then it has been too long. Pick up phone, write an email, send a card, give a hug - something to let another human being know that you love them and appreciate them. It's not that hard. And it usually comes back to you in some other form - like a professor saying nice things about you. Try it. You might like it.
P.S. By the way, thanks for reading this blog. It is nice to know that there are those who take some of their precious time to read these meanderings. It means a lot to me. And I just wanted you to know that I appreciate you. Thanks.
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