Growing Older

While you may not be interested in reading about this subject I can guarantee you that I am even less interested in writing about it. But, reality and honesty make certain demands upon reflection and this is one of them. So, have a laugh at us, because here we go.
Joanie has finally gotten health insurance. After teaching at the school since August and being assured that she would be on from the beginning, she has just received her card. Very frustrating. To the credit of the school, they have picked up the cost of her medicines in the interim, but she could not see a doctor during that time. Well, she has now. And that doctor has sent her to a orthopedic surgeon. Her hip has become more and more painful; her limp more and more pronounced; and her pain meds less and less helpful. They will try and find a better pain med or look for surgical options to help her condition.
I am suffering from diverticulousis. I had a bout with it a few years back and it has reared its ugly head again. Common courtesy refrain me from describing the condition other than it feels like you have to go all the time and you can't and even if you do it doesn't change things very much. If things don't improve, I will be going to the Dr. soon.
My kids laugh at me when I talk about such things. They lovingly refer to me as, "the Old Man" and tell me they won't be very kind to me in my senior years. I usually respond that I will haunt them, even after I die, and seek revenge on them in some post-Poltergeist way. In the midst of all of this, one of my new parishioners asked last Sunday about the question of Divine Healing. He has not gotten over the death of his mother and the suffering she went through before she died. Which brings me to the question, "Should we pray for God to heal us?"
The simple answer is, "Of course, we should and we will!" The deeper question is, "Do we expect God to heal us?" That is tougher still. Do I believe God can heal? Yes. Do I believe God will heal us? Hmmmm. That's a different question, but not for the reasons you may think. The real issue is the word "will heal" in the question. It smacks to me of ordering God around. Or it seems to say that God operates by formula rather than by virtue of his concern for the whole world and not just his concern for me. I believe God will do what he wills. If he heals me, I will rejoice that it is His will. If he does not heal me, I will find how to carry this (and Joanie will find how to carry her maladies) in a way that will bring glory to God. You see, the ultimate reality for us is not whether we suffer or not. We have found that suffering is part and parcel of life no matter who you are. The question is how to find meaning and faithfulness in the midst of suffering. I have suffered at the hands of unjust men and women who have falsely accused me of many things; I have suffered at the hands of disease that attacks my body; I have suffered humiliation by my own foolishness and decisions. The question is always how you go through it not whether or not it comes.
Anyway, I do not relish living with diverticulousis nor does Joanie like the limping and the pain in her arthritic hip. But it won't stop us or sour us. We just go on. And we plan to stay around and haunt our kids for a long, long time!