Possums

At 9:30 on Tuesday morning I met one of my classmates to work on a major project for Latin. We spent the morning working on translating Revelation 5. We got about halfway through the passage and broke for lunch. After lunch we spent the next 2-3 hours translating the rest of the text. At 4pm I left to go home and print out the 12 pages of work we had done that day (each of us had to do our own individual work but we collaborated on the ideas). At 5pm I met our professor for a study group we have prior to class. At 6pm class began. By the time we were underway, I had spent about 9 hours studying Latin.
The teacher gave us a quiz to do that he said we would struggle with - and most of us did. That was OK. Our prof is not real big on quiz grading. The rest of the class was about the same as most of our sessions. However, at the very end, with only 5 minutes left, the prof put up a verse of scripture (an obscure one we wouldn't know) of about 20 words and told us we would have to translate it. We could stay after class for a while, but we had to work on it alone.
For the last 20 years I have had a dream and a desire to do PhD work. I never doubted my ability to do the work - except for the language study. I have never done well at it. It has always, even since High School, been a struggle for me. I got through two quarters of Hebrew and I was relieved when it was over. To say I was successful in learning Hebrew and can translate it or work with it extensively is to go much further than is true. I passed the class, got an A- for each quarter, but basically regurgitated back to the teacher what I had to in order to get the grade. To actually handle the language . . . I don't think so! So, you can imagine what it felt like to be out alone on an island, having no preparation at all for this quiz, and having 20 years of fear behind me.
Well, I did my best, handed in the quiz, and smiled at the professor. He immediately picked up my quiz, looked at it and said, "99% right". He showed me the one small mistake I had made (It was something I didn't know so I couldn't have done it on my own). Then he told me, "You got all the big things right. You did a good job!". I left the class, got in my car, called up my wife and cried. For all the years of toil and fear, for all the time spent applying myself to learn this language, for all the apprehension that I didn't have what it takes - all were gone in a flash. And, it feels good to conquer one of your fears.
Now, I know that doing a Latin translation may not seem like climbing Mt. Everest or overcoming your fear of heights or snakes, but it has been that real to me. What is it that you fear? What have you told yourself that you cannot overcome? We all have our internal voice that tells us we can't or won't or aren't able. It speaks louder to us than it does to others. They look at us and say encouraging things like, "You can do it. I know you can." You hear the words and feel the support, but you still doubt the truth that poteris (that's the Future Indicative Active 2nd Singular of the Latin auxiliary verb, possom [to be able] and is properly translated "you will be able"). Well, from one who has spent a few years wondering if I can let me tell you this - potes (that's the Present Active Indicative 2nd singular and means - YOU CAN).