The Real World

Most of my students in preaching are graduating. Their excitement is palpable. They take note of it in their sermons and mention it in their conversations and discussions. Most of the time they use the phrase, "As we go out into a new world" or "Now we enter the real world." How different my perspective is.
For 31 years I have been living and working in the real world. Life, death, families, marriages, problems, prejudices, change, birth, finances, budgets, etc. For the past year I have been a student. Have I moved from the real world to ... what? A false world? A sheltered world? An ivory tower? I beg to disagree. I am sitting here writing this in a suit and tie as I make plans to go to the funeral service for both the mother and father of one of the professors for whom I am a Teaching Assistant. Sounds pretty real to me. I spoke today to a young woman who is changing jobs, moving from California to Georgia, taking on a job in a mega-church setting, and uprooting her whole family. Doesn't sound very ivory tower-esque to me. When I go back to the apartment in a few hours I still have to wash the dishes, fix dinner for Joanie, and pick up the kitchen (the floor needs to be mopped). That's about as "real world" as it gets.
Life is what happens when you are living it. This life is no less real than the one a soldier in Baghdad faces today. Different? Absolutely. Less real? Not at all. Whatever is going on around you is life and it is real. It may not stack up to others in crisis but so what? Life is not a comparative venture. I don't determine the value of my life by comparing my issues to yours. My issues are, well, my life - and yours are yours.
So, stop comparing your problems or blessings to others. Live. Life is meant to be embraced and enjoyed. It is meant to be a challenge that changes all the time. It is what it is. Whatever is going on in your world is the real world. When you are going through it, that's about as real as it gets.

Tired

What do you do when your juices are running low? You know, when your gitty-up got up and went? What do you do when your energy levels are low and your work schedule is high? In case you haven't figured it out, I'm tired. So, what do you do?

1. Stop complaining. You're not the only one. Look around you. My wife is barely able to walk; my daughter-in-law is struggling with physical issues; my son is getting ready to drive 17 hours straight through to Colorado; the list goes on and on. No matter how tired I am, take a nap; go to bed early; take a day off; do something but stop complaining.


2. Find something interesting to do. Even if it's a diversion, find something that really interests you to do. Break your routine. Find something new that catches your fancy. Go somewhere you haven't been. Meet someone you don't know. Get a pedicure or a massage. Just do something that breaks the monotony that adds to your tiredness.


3. Ask for some help. This is usually divided into two areas. First, if you are overwhelmed, find someone to help with the load. Two heads are better than one and many hands make light work. Delegation is often the key to success. Not everything has to be done by you. Take a load off of yourself by sharing it with someone who is in a better position to do things than you are to do everything. Secondly, share your feelings. It is amazing how telling someone else about the load you are carrying helps to lighten the load itself. Loads get heavier the longer you carry them alone. Find a confidant, a friend, a counselor, your pastor, hairdresser, or the bartender - but find someone and get it off your chest. Hey, I've got a novel idea. If you are really tired and need someone to share you story, get a blog and write it down. Hmmm. I don't feel so tired now. Thanks.

The Circle of Life

This week has been one of those weeks when issues of life and death, health and wholeness have filled our thoughts and emotions. Where to begin is almost as difficult a choice as knowing how to react to all of this news.
First the good news, Joel and Shafali are having a boy. Our first grandchild, to be named Malachi David Frymire, will be appearing somewhere around the middle of September. Both mother and developing child are doing well. The expectant father is, well, oblivious to the changes about to made in his life and happy as a clam that they are coming his way. The grandparents are equally delirious with joy and have only a small understanding of the changes about to take place in our lives as we adjust to having a new addition to the family.
The second bit of news is more of a relief than something to rejoice over. Joanie is having hip replacement surgery this summer and we have been awaiting news of when the surgery will be scheduled. Yesterday we found out that she has the opportunity to have it done in June. After checking with her school and looking at the options, we have chosen to move up her surgery from an expectation of mid-July to June 12. The major factor for me (and for Joanie, too) was the fact that her pain level is increasing exponentially. She has already applied for a handicapped parking permit because she is having difficulty walking. Those of you who know her would be quite astonished at how she limps and lunges as she walks. While major surgery is never a joy, it is a relief to know her pain should be on a short countdown. I don't know if she could have lasted until July, the expected date. The only real downside to this is that, for only the second time in her life, she will miss Anderson Campmeeting. While that may not seem like much, it has become a major part of our lives together. She will miss the friends she gets to see once a year. More importantly, she will miss seeing both her boys and their wives. For that she is sad.
The final bit of news is truly sad. Joel told us tonight that his mother in law found out that she is not pregnant. While the tests came back positive, an ultra-sound showed that there was no fetus in her womb. She will be having a DNC tomorrow and will be adjusting to the news. I'm sure it will not be easy and having your daughter living with you who is in the midst of growing a life in her will prove a challenge for all of them. I have no question that she is strong enough in her faith to handle it all, but it will take some adjusting.
All in all, I guess it just shows the circle of life. Every joy is tempered by sorrow. Every sadness is countered by celebration. In everything there remains the constant of hope - hope for a future that will deliver what it has promised or for a future that will change what has been.

Worship Trends

One of the joys about being in an academic setting is that you spend a lot of time looking at trends. For instance, at the moment I am doing research into events that took place in the nineteenth century. Why? Because I am looking for historical antecedents to predict current and future trends. Why is that important? Because it is not always wise to try and predict current and future trends based on the current situation. Let me give you a very powerful current example - Worship.
Lester Ruth is a professor of liturgics (worship) at Asbury Seminary in Kentucky. In the book, "The Convictions of Things Not Seen" Ruth writes a chapter about the current state of worship. It is a devastating indictment on the classifications and "styles" that dot the worship scene of today's contemporary Christian culture. He critiques the popular notion that contemporary worship should be the norm for the church in today's society. Now, Ruth is not a proponent of returning to a traditional style. But he is not an apologist for contemporary worship, either. So, what is he? Ruth is a realist.

Ruth's opening questions is how do you describe the type of worship service your church shares. Is it one of the following:

• Contemporary or traditional


• Linear or organic


• Multi-sensory worship; indigenous worship; innovative worship; transformative worship; blended worship; praise services; spirited traditional; creative; classical


• African-American; Hispanic; Euro-American


• Multimedia worship; authentic worship; liturgical worship; believer-oriented worship made friendly to believers; visitor-oriented worship


• Boomer worship; Buster worship; Gen-X worship; Millennial worship


• Mass; Worship Hour; Gathering; Eucharist; Liturgy; Celebration; "One hour of boredom"


• Loud; listless; contemplative; dry; lifeless; engaging; the most segregated hour in American society

Whatever you call it, worship is too complex and too important to be given a slogan or defined in a word. In an earlier chapter of the same book, Constance Cherry writes these profound words, "I suggest there is a better question to ask (than style): What kind of worship helps people encounter God?"

Worship is not now nor should it ever be a matter of style. It must be about how we encounter the presence of the living God. That may fit neatly into the style debate, but it must be the central question we long to answer.